How to ask a relative not to post pictures of your child

ByEveryday Wording

Tell your relative plainly which photos you do not want shared and where the limit applies. Keep the message about the arrangement you want for your child, rather than asking the relative to agree with every reason behind it.

We’re keeping pictures of Isla off social media. Please don’t post photos or videos that include her, even in birthday messages.

For an image already online, add a specific removal request:

Could you remove the picture of Noah from yesterday’s picnic post? We’re not sharing his photos online, and that includes group pictures.

If a private family chat is acceptable, distinguish it from public posting:

You’re welcome to share that picture in our small family chat. Please don’t put it on your page or send it to other groups.

Use “we” when it reflects an arrangement you and another parent have actually agreed. If you are speaking for your own request, “I’m asking you not to post pictures of Ava” is clearer than claiming a joint decision that has not been made.

Contents

State the sharing preference clearly

Start with the action you want

A relative may see a photograph as a loving announcement: a grandchild’s birthday, a successful school project or a happy afternoon together. You can recognise that intention while making a direct request about sharing.

I know you love showing people pictures of her. Please keep them off your social media pages; we’re not posting photos of her there.

Do not hide the request inside a broad conversation about how much everyone uses their phone. The relative needs to know what you want them to stop doing, not simply that you have concerns about the internet.

If you are raising the subject before an event, say so while there is time to understand the arrangement:

Before Saturday’s party, I wanted to mention that we don’t want pictures of Leo posted online. Please keep any photos you take for your own collection.

Only offer private keeping if that suits your actual preference. If you do not want the person taking pictures, that is a separate request and needs its own clear wording.

Please don’t take photos of her during the visit this time. We’d like to keep the afternoon free of pictures.

Speak in your own voice

You may want a warm explanation for a close relative and a short message for someone you rarely see. Both can be direct. A family relationship does not require a long debate before a practical request can be understood.

Mum, I’m happy for you to enjoy the photos I send you. I’m asking you not to upload them anywhere.

Avoid saying “the other parent won’t let me” to escape an uncomfortable conversation. That shifts the disagreement onto someone else and may invite the relative to approach them separately.

This is the arrangement we’ve agreed for Sam’s pictures. Please speak to us about any questions rather than asking each of us for a different answer.

If no joint arrangement exists, describe your request honestly and sort out any disagreement between parents separately. Do not ask the relative to interpret conflicting instructions while you present them as settled.

Give a short reason if it helps

You can explain that you want to keep childhood pictures within a small circle, or that you prefer to decide separately about any proposed post. The explanation need not become a detailed account of everything that could happen to a photograph.

We want to keep her childhood pictures within the family for now. Please don’t post them to your followers.

A reason helps someone understand the request. It does not make their agreement with the reason a prerequisite for following it.

Explain what the request includes

Distinguish taking, receiving and sharing

A relative may think that receiving a picture means you are happy for them to post it. Spell out the difference if that is where the misunderstanding lies.

When I send you a photo, it’s for you to enjoy. Please ask before sending it on, and don’t post it on your page.

Likewise, permission to take a photograph at an event does not by itself explain where you want it shared. Make the arrangement clear before people start comparing albums afterwards.

Taking a few family photos at lunch is fine with me. Sharing them online is the part I’m asking everyone not to do.

Be precise about videos too. A relative may agree to “no photos” and still post a clip of the birthday candles because they do not think of the two together.

Please include videos in that request as well. I don’t want the birthday-cake clip posted or added to a story.

Name the audiences you mean

“Keep it private” can mean different things. One person imagines a direct message to a grandparent; another imagines a private group containing dozens of acquaintances. Name the audience that actually works for you.

Our six-person family chat is fine. Please don’t forward the picture to the wider reunion group.

If you do not want any onward sharing, say that instead of naming a small exception you are not comfortable with.

Please keep the photos I send between us. If someone else wants a picture, they can ask me directly.

This is a communication arrangement about who receives your pictures. Avoid suggesting that a private audience guarantees where an image will remain. The useful request is what you are asking this relative to do.

Include group pictures and captions

If your child is in a family photograph, the relative may treat the picture as everyone’s event memory rather than a picture “of the child”. Explain how you want those images handled.

Please leave out group photos that show Millie too. You can choose one without her, or send me the proposed crop before posting it.

Offer a crop only if you would be comfortable considering one. You can also ask for no reference to your child in a caption if that is part of your actual preference. Avoid adding restrictions simply because you feel a comprehensive message ought to include them; make each request something you mean.

Ask for existing photos to be removed

Identify the exact post

Name the platform, occasion or picture so the relative can find it. A direct request makes it easier to settle the immediate issue without dragging the entire family into the exchange.

Please take down the second photo in your Sunday lunch post—the one with Ella on your lap.

If the child appears in several images, say whether the request concerns all of them. You do not want the person to remove one obvious close-up while leaving three group pictures you also meant.

I’m asking you to remove all four photos that show him in that album, including the group picture on the steps.

You can state the request without criticising the relative’s motives or suggesting the post was intended to upset you. Focus first on the change you want to see.

Address a partial change

A relative may remove a tag, delete the child’s name or change the audience. If that does not meet the request, acknowledge what they changed and clarify what remains.

Thanks for removing her name. I’m still asking for the image itself to come down; changing the caption doesn’t resolve that part.

If you notice another copy in a story or event post, name it specifically. Do not make either person guess which version is still visible.

The album photo is gone, thank you. The same picture is still in your story—could you remove that copy as well?

Confirm completion without reopening the argument

Once the relative has made the requested change, you can acknowledge it briefly and return to the future arrangement.

I’ve seen that the pictures are down now. Thank you. Please check with me before sharing any more that include him.

If they say they cannot find the post, offer to identify it privately. You do not need to send a public comment directing more people to the image you want removed.

If the concern is an adult’s discomfort with how they appear in an existing photograph, asking someone to remove an unflattering photo gives wording for that individual request. Here the useful distinction is the arrangement you are setting for pictures of your child, including images everyone may consider attractive.

I’ll send you the link privately so you can find the post. Please remove the first photo, where he’s sitting beside the dog.

Respond to affection, disagreement and exceptions

Acknowledge pride without changing the answer

A grandparent or aunt may say they only wanted to show how proud they are. You can respond to the affection and still ask them to keep the picture off their page.

I know you’re proud of him, and I’m glad you enjoyed the day. Please share the story without posting his photograph.

Avoid getting stuck trying to prove that loving relatives ought to feel exactly as you do about photographs. The immediate conversation concerns what this person will post.

Answer “but my account is private”

Your relative may believe their chosen audience settles the issue. If your preference applies to their account too, state that rather than arguing about every person who follows them.

I understand that your page is private. We’re still asking for no photos of her there, so please don’t use that as an exception.

This keeps the answer on the arrangement, instead of turning the conversation into an inspection of their followers. If you would consider a particular small group, describe that actual exception rather than using a vague rule that both of you interpret differently.

Keep a special occasion from becoming automatic permission

Birthdays, holidays and family reunions may feel like obvious exceptions to the person making the post. Say whether the preference continues on those days.

That includes his birthday. You can write him a lovely birthday message without adding a photo of him.

When someone asks for one particular exception, respond to that exact request. Do not say “perhaps later” if you already know the answer is no.

I’ve thought about the anniversary collage, and I don’t want her picture included. Please use one of the adults together instead.

Stop a repeated family debate

If relatives keep bringing the matter up after the request is understood, you can close the discussion without offering a fresh set of reasons each time.

I’ve explained what we’re asking. I’m not going to keep debating it at each visit; please leave her photos out of your posts.

Speak to the person posting rather than asking another relative to persuade them through several conversations. A clear direct request gives fewer opportunities for the message to change as it passes around the family.

Keep the arrangement clear at future gatherings

Remind people before the photographs circulate

A brief reminder before a gathering can be more useful than a correction after every upload. Keep it consistent with what you have actually agreed.

Looking forward to seeing everyone tomorrow. A quick reminder: please don’t post photos or videos that include Arlo. Thanks for keeping that in mind.

You do not have to make a public announcement if only one relative needs the reminder. A private message can avoid turning a practical request into the main topic of the event.

Respond to repeated disregard with a concrete next step

If someone keeps posting pictures you send them, decide what you are comfortable sharing with that person. State a step you actually intend to take, rather than threatening to end every form of contact.

Pictures I sent privately have been posted again, so I’m not sending new ones for now. I’m still happy to arrange our usual call on Sunday.

That separates access to photographs from whatever contact you still want. You do not need to offer an alternative you do not genuinely want, but clarity can prevent the photo disagreement from being interpreted as an unexplained withdrawal.

If someone requests approval before a future post, answer the specific proposal:

Thanks for asking first. That picture still includes her, so please leave it out. The photo of you and Grandad would be fine for your post.

At a ceremony or celebration, the photographer may also need to ask what can be photographed at all. Keep that separate from publication. A parent who permits a picture for a family album may still want it kept off social media.

For event-wide timing, asking guests not to post wedding photos before you do offers a different request: holding back wedding images until the couple has shared their own. Do not use that temporary timing agreement when your actual preference is that your child’s pictures are not posted at all.

Frequently asked questions

Is it rude to ask a grandparent not to post pictures?

You can make the request respectfully and acknowledge their excitement. You do not have to choose between appreciating their affection and setting a clear preference. Avoid insulting their judgement or turning the message into a lecture. Tell them which sharing you are asking them to stop and what, if anything, is still welcome.

Should I explain the request to the whole family?

If the same arrangement applies to everyone, one short message can make it clear. If one person has posted a particular image, ask them directly to remove it. A group announcement is not a substitute for identifying the post, and it can unnecessarily involve people who have not shared anything.

What if another parent has already agreed to the post?

Do not tell the relative there is a shared decision when there is not. Speak with the other parent about what each of you has actually said and what arrangement you want. Keep the relative informed of any clear practical request you are making, without using them to carry messages between you or resolve the disagreement.

Can I let one trusted relative receive pictures but not others?

Describe the arrangements you actually want without announcing a ranking of who is trustworthy. If someone asks why they are not receiving new images, address the relevant sharing history plainly. You do not need to explain every private conversation with other relatives or promise identical arrangements that you do not intend to follow.

What if my relative says everyone posts pictures of their children?

You do not need to settle what everyone else does. Bring the answer back to your child’s pictures and the request you have made. A short response such as the one below keeps the conversation specific.

Other families make their own choices. I’m asking you not to post pictures of Ruby, including the one from yesterday.

Everyday Wording uses AI-assisted drafting and editorial review. Read our editorial policy for how we create and review our guides.

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